Don’t Offer Friendship as a Way to Soften the Blow
Let’s face it, sometimes break ups don’t go very well. The person may get extremely upset, and being the good-natured people we are, we may want to soften the blow. An easy way to do this is to tell the person that you’d like to remain friends. But don’t say this if you really don’t mean it. A better option to say is, “Perhaps in time, we can go back to being friends.” This slight change in wording will allow you to be totally honest.

Don’t Expect Friendship to be Immediate
One reason staying friends with an ex doesn’t work is because singles try and rush it. They break up and instantly think they can pal around with their ex. They can’t. Any break up needs a period of time to heal and allow yourself to grieve. Without this, emotions can get tied up in friendship, which only prolongs the hurt of the breakup.

Allow Friendship to Form Naturally
The best way to truly remain friends with an ex is to give both you and your ex-partner some time. Don’t call, text, or contact them for a bit. If the two of you started out as friends, there is a good chance that you’ll be able to rekindle that friendship at some point. But allow it to happen naturally. It’s okay to let your ex go for a while. When you both have moved on emotionally, you’ll be able to share each other’s happiness’s again as true friends should.

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

Staying Friends With an Ex

Facebook
Remember that cute girl from high school? Or how about the one you dated briefly in college? Facebook allows you to connect with old friends, and you never know where it could lead. Send her a friend request and get the conversation going.

Lunch Dating
Too busy to date? Take a break for lunch and meet someone new instead. Most lunch dating places do all the work for you. Just show up, meet your date, and have a bite to eat. If it doesn’t work out, it’s no big deal. (After all, you had to eat lunch anyways!) This is an especially good way to meet women if you’re a busy professional working long hours.

Online
Online dating works, but here’s a tip especially for guys. Watch your search criteria. Rather than placing an age range of “18 to one year younger than you,” give some thought to it. Women will use this to judge you. Besides that, if you’re 38 years old, do you really want to date an 18-year old? Put a realistic age range so you can meet the right one for you.

Take a Class
A great way to meet women in a casual environment is by taking a class. Think about the types of things you like to do, and more importantly, want to learn about. Choose something where you think women will be. You get the benefit of broadening your horizons while also meeting a woman who shares your interest.

Speed Dating
Ever tried speed dating? You should. It’s low pressure and a lot of fun. Chat with a variety of women in eight minute increments. You’ll get an idea of her personality and if she’s up to it, can easily set up a time to meet her later for coffee. What could be easier than that?

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

5 Ways to Meet a Girl

I was one of the last people to jump on board the facebook train.

My profile picture was the question mark for about a year before I let the social media world know what I actually looked like.  At first I really didn’t care much for the site. I would randomly check in, seldom comment on anything and almost never update my status.

Then, it happened.

I discovered that my ex-boyfriend was on facebook.

flickr

We had a bad breakup and did not remain friends, which was one hundred percent my call.  We had one of those tumultuous on and off relationships that ran on for about a year too long before I finally mustered up the nerve to cut him off, cold turkey.  I could’ve used an intervention.  Yes, he was my addiction.

It had been a while since I’d even thought about him, but then there he was writing on a mutual friend’s wall, his shiny profile pic with him and some mystery girl smiling into the camera.

I wear my emotions out there for the whole world to see.  Seriously.  I’m really bad at pretending that I am okay when I’m not.  I have no emotional poker face.  I didn’t need a mirror to know that my face instantly flushed red.  My heart actually started hammering; vibrating my chest and pounding in my ears before plummeting straight into my stomach.

It was like being hit by a truck.

I wish that I could say that I just brushed it off.  That I simply logged off and went about my day.  But that was not the case.  I logged in, probably twenty times a day and all of a sudden I found it very important that I have a profile picture up, that I had some masterful status that would showcase that not only am I happy without him but that
I’m having fun and have a great career and guys are all over me and I’m hilarious and irresistible all wrapped into one.  Not an easy feat, by the way.

This might be old news to you.   You’ve probably facebook stalked a person or two in your time, checking to see who writes on their wall, what their status is and what they are commenting on, etc

But have you ever stalked someone that you didn’t even have as a friend?!

It was seriously the ultimate low in my life.  Looking at his friends list to see who he was friends with, going through their pictures to see what he’s doing and more importantly who he’s dating.

Sure, it would have been nice to see if he got fat or something, but it was the girl that I was interested in.  What is with us girls and being so competitive?  And to top it all off, I was the one who ended it with him.  Why did I even care?

Well, the good news is that I eventually did stop caring.  And the addiction went away, but just like I had to quit him, I had to give up facebook cold turkey.  Just completely cut it off.  No random pokes to people or quick looks at my inbox.  Nothing!

And I just want to put this out there that I think this generation has the hardest time when it comes to dating.  Sure there are countless dating sites and social networks and it just seems that there is a limitless supply of ways to meet new people.  But with all those outlets, just comes more ways to be rejected.  If he doesn’t call you, he can
always email you. Or send you a facebook message or write on your wall or even tweet you! What if he doesn’t do any of those things?  Then you’ve just been phased out in like, ten different ways!  It never ends!

And it’s just more ways to see what your ex is up to, too.  It’s almost impossible for this generation to successfully move on from relationships.  One cannot be blissful without being ignorant, and I would just rather be ignorant to all of my exes love lives, thank you very much.

Moving on, I still have a very love – hate relationship with “the book”.  Almost every day I grapple with completely taking down my entire profile and am always openly envious when I hear that someone has actually mustered up the courage to do it.  I’ve changed my name and still rarely update my status.  My privacy settings restrict all of my pictures and videos and no one can see whose wall I’m writing on.  So, tell me… what is the point in even having it?

I’m fully over stalking people and I really don’t care about what other people are doing, so what is keeping me there?

Seriously, I think facebook is my new addiction.  I’m in a relationship with it.  But, how do I break up with it?

Post from: Blisstree

“In a Relationship” with Facebook

Thinking about what to wear on a first date to impress a girl?  I would suggest pairing a clean-shaven face with your well-fitting jeans and collared shirt because women say that grooming is a huge key to making a good first impression.  If you are a man who prefers facial hair, make sure that it is clean and freshly trimmed.

The most important news to share with men were the results that over half of women would also like the man in their life to properly groom his body hair.  A completely bare shaven chest similar to Mario Lopez’s is not a requirement, but using clippers to trim back, chest, and groin hair is a definite request.

The issue of body hair removal and trimming can be a sensitive one in a relationship because it involves possibly changing your grooming habits to fit your significant other’s desires.  Men and women can be easily offended if asked to change an aspect of their appearance, so be thoughtful and sensitive when bringing up the issue.  Everyone has their own personal preference for maintaining their own hair, but if you are in a relationship it is also important to feel comfortable discussing each other’s preferences.  Don’t run out and shave your chest because a survey’s results says that women don’t like chest hair, but do ask questions and engage in conversation about what you prefer about the other person.  It’s not good to make extreme changes in a relationship to satisfy the other person, but it is good to have a balance between continuing with what you think is best and adapting to make someone else happy.  Who knows?  Maybe you will be happier with the way you look and feel!

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Women Want Men to Groom Their Body Hair

Go Online

Online dating gives the biggest selection of singles around. There are probably dozens (at a conservative estimate) of men who like to do the same things you do who for whatever reason, you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. Best thing about being online? You know that everyone there is looking to meet someone. No guessing. Log on and who knows? You might have a date this afternoon!

Grocery Store

You’ve got to eat, and so does he. Browse the frozen food and soup sections since bachelors tend to frequent those areas quite a bit. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers and put it in your cart. It will be an instant conversation starter. (I actually had someone ask me if he could buy them for me.)

Sports Bar

If you’re into sports, get out to watch the game instead of sitting by yourself at home.

Set Ups

You know all those guys your friends are always trying to set you up with? Call her up today and tell her you’ll go. What do you have to lose?

Coffee Shop

Think coffee shops are only for blind dates to meet? No way. Cute guys go there to hang out and read the paper, mess around on the computer, or check out the scenery.

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

5 Ways to Meet a Guy

If you’re scratching your head for ideas, here are a few to help you out.

Dinner to Go
Drinks typically add several dollars to your bill, so save the money spent on them by ordering in instead. Pick a favorite restaurant and order takeout instead of dine in. You can mix drinks cheaper at home and still get the feel that you’re eating “out” without spending as much.

Picnic Lunches
Remember the charm of picnic lunches? They’re cheaper than eating out and add a little something extra in the romance department. Even if the weather is getting cold, you can still have a “carpet” picnic.

Make Being Frugal a Game
If you and your date are both feeling the pinch, why not put your heads together to come up with the most fun yet frugal date ideas you can think of. Make it a game. Rather than being a chore, being frugal can be something that actually bonds you together.

Choose Daytime Activities
Anything done in the daytime (movies, meals, etc.) is usually cheaper during the day. Choose the latest time during the day before the rates go up and you’ll save.

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

Ways to Date on the Cheap

Get Her Opinion
You can still surprise your girl with a ring if you do it creatively. Get her opinion on rings before buying one. If you’d like to completely catch her off-guard, take one of her friends along to give you an idea of what she would like.

Go Shopping With a Female Relative
You know that aunt that is always asking when you’re going to get married? Why not take her along for an opinion. You might need a woman’s input, and a female relative will be more than happy to give you some feedback.

Get Her Ring Size
It’s great when an engagement ring fits perfectly the minute she puts it on. See if you can get her ring size by looking at other rings she has. If she doesn’t wear rings, compare her finger size to yours (on the sly) so you have some idea of what will fit her when you head to the jewelry store.

Do Your Research
Ring shopping can be really intimidating the very first time you go. Do a little research first so you understand what cut and clarity really mean.

Determine How Much You Can Spend
Men often get sticker shock when it comes to engagement rings. Yes, they are expensive and getting a nice ring is important. However, be realistic on what you can spend. Remember that it’s your future that is most important. Things like buying a house and having children trump getting into debt over an engagement ring. However, do some shopping around and give it considerable thought to get the best ring for your fiancé that you can.

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

Before You Buy an Engagement Ring

Despite all this, it’s important to end a relationship in a way that truly frees you from the baggage that came along with it. Sound impossible? It’s not.

Don’t Break Up in Anger
Many breakups happen in the heat of the moment, and understandably so. However, you should instead take some time and reflect back on your relationship. Perhaps when you consider things you really do want to work on them. Or, if you find that you have moved beyond this person, get yourself in a positive state and then approach them to talk. Doing so will help you to avoid saying things that are hurtful, and will leave you in a more positive place when it comes to meeting someone new.

Learn the Lesson
The people we meet usually teach us something about ourselves. So silently take a moment and appreciate what you’ve learned from that person. Then, let this person go so that when you enter a new partnership, you’re not dragging old wounds along for the ride.

Wish Them the Best
It’s difficult to wish someone the very best and mean it. If you can master this act, you will eliminate the attachment we feel when we hold anger for someone. Wishing someone a life alone and lonely only holds you back.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

How to End a Relationship

Watch the Parade
Make a date to cuddle up on the couch and watch the Thanksgiving day parade. There is lot of nostalgia with this parade which will prompt conversation topics and easy ways to get to know each other. Besides that, watching a couple hours of Broadway tunes, TV stars, and giant cartoon balloons is just too much fun to miss.

Volunteer
While volunteering at a rescue mission or food pantry might seem like a downer, it can actually help bond two people together fairly quickly. The key is make your outing about an hour, and no more. Under normal circumstances you should spend as much time as you can at a volunteer site, but when you are with a date it’s best to keep it on the short side. You’ll still get the benefit and honor of helping people, while also showing off your very best side to your date. Nothing makes you fall in love faster than seeing a date give of his heart freely.

Football Game
As a die-hard Packer fan, I’d be remiss if I did not mention sports. The traditional Thanksgiving game usually features the Packers and Lions, and for football fans this a welcome tradition. If you’re both into football, why not make it a game-watching date? At half-time, go outside and toss a football around, too. This will get your blood pumping (never a bad thing on a date.)

Make Dinner Together
If you both find yourselves without family on Thanksgiving, why not make a meal for two? Instead of a heavy dinner, think smaller appetizer sizes instead. Cooking together can be a very good way to talk and get to know one another. If you’re a whiz in the kitchen, what better way to impress your date?

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

Thanksgiving Date Ideas

“Actions speak louder than words.”  We’ve all heard it, but do we all really live it?  If someone has hurt you it always feels so much better when they apologize.  Apologies make you believe that the offender understands their mistake and feels badly for hurting you.  But apologies don’t always solve problems from re-occurring.

In relationships I think the saying should be “Actions speak louder than apologies.”  Some people are really into saying “I’m sorry.”  Flowers, gifts, and home-cooked meals might make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but are they really addressing the issue that hurt you in the first place?  Maybe his apology is just covering the situation with a Band-Aid.

True apologies are really tough.  They involve admitting that you have truly made a mistake and if you could travel back in time, you would have made a different decision.  You made a wrong decision.  You are sorry.  For most people getting in touch with themselves and admitting that they have made a mistake, especially when it involves hurting someone they care about, is very difficult.  If you find that your significant other is quick to apologize and make a grand gesture to prove the apology, then you really need to think about the validity of these apologies.

“Actions speak louder than apologies” means that what he says to quickly wrap-up the argument is not important.  The way that he changes his actions based on the problem that occurred is extremely important. Go back to the root of the situation and figure out what hurt you and what lit the fire.  Look at the bigger picture of your relationship to find the base of the problem.  That is where the solution lies…not in fancy dinners, gifts, and a dozen roses.  Don’t look for an apology.  Look for a change that shows that he understands what happened and why you were hurt.  If this doesn’t happen, then your fight will keep re-occurring and you will get caught in an endless pattern of arguing.

I can’t tell you whether or not his apology is sincere, but I can tell you that the way someone acts in a relationship is much more important than what he says about how he wants to act.

Image: Flickr

Post from: Blisstree

Should You Accept His Apology?