That’s NOT what we devoted fans need to see on our beloved show.

Dana Delany has said her character, Katherine, will not just give Robin (the stripper with a heart of gold played by “Dexter”’s Julie Benz) a quick kiss. They’ll have an actual makeout … and maybe more?

I really, really like this turn for Katherine and hope it’s a real relationship. I think her story run its course, and she’s seeing help for her, you know, issues (is that an understatement? Yes? No? Mooooving on…). I think maybe she’ll realize some of that comes from her attraction to women?

One more important question: WWBS???? (What would Bree say????)

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Desperate Blog

And he’s going to be, um, a little different than the other men on the show. The 33-year-old actor will be Jeremy (who’s shown here at Miami’s South Beach Triathlon in April), a cook with a respectable resume — who thinks Bree is a god.

Isn’t this just the sorta thing a woman who lost her lover and the lower half of her husband needs right now?

Image: Pacific Coast News

Post from: Desperate Blog

Jesse Metcalfe played with a team of other “celebrities” against high school teachers at Claremont High School on Saturday to raise money for area schools. His team name? The Hollywood Knights.

Using celebrity for good is always a wonderful thing. You get a pass for a while, Metcalfe!!

Image: Pacific Coast News

Post from: Desperate Blog

We missed “Desperate Housewives” last week, and this week, we’re competing with our love of too-long awards shows. So we’re going to be watching the Grammys right until 8:59…and flip over OMGREALLYFAST.

Erin’s here, (Not)Neighbor Peggy is here. It’s on. (And, of course, follow me on the Twits @DesperateBlog)

GO!

9:02: I reeeeaally don’t care about Orson in a wheelchair. This storyline doesn’t interest me. And I had gotten used to Bree and Karl…
9:02: Orson and Bree? Just seem awkwardly matched now.
9:03: P.S. Orson’s giving away things? Telltale sign of suicide. Little TOO obvious, guys?
9:03: OMG, I love lines like this from Mary Alice: “…because her husband had decided to kill himself.” Think it’s going to happen?
9:04: I really wish Angie would dress more like Snooki from Jersey Shore. It seems like she should. Am I wrong on this?
9:05: I love how the “SEEEEND IN THE CLONE!” woman from Austin Powers is a neighbor now?
9:05: “Is Angie Bolen the sixth Captain Planet character now?” –Peggy
9:06: “We don’t talk about Patrick anymore.” –Nick. YES WE DO. TALK ABOUT PATRICK . TALK. GO.
9:06: Oh man, Rita!!
9:07: I did NOT expect her to make such a good stripper! She’s so sweet and innocent on Dexter….
9:09: Is there some tension with Daphne and Tom?? Am I imagining that?
9:10: He left his keys. This isn’t going to be good. Daphne and Tom alone?
9:11: I just turned to Erin: “Am I making up this sexual tension??” “No. No you’re not.”
9:11: Who writes for Gaby?? “Just a couple of teenagers alone with their genitals.”
9:13: Yep, suicide note…
9:14: The last few episodes have been HILARIOUS. Funnier than usual? Good writing, DH Gods. Good writing.
9:17: So I ran into the kitchen to get some wine during the break. This is how I knew we were back from commercial: “BOX OF CONDOMS ON THE TABLE!” –Peggy
9:17: Ahh, the double standard for boys vs. girls having sex as teenagers. Or any agers.
9:17: “She’s YOUR trampy niece!” –Gaby
9:18: I’m sorry…Susan is Robin/Rita’s role model? Susan is anyone’s role model…?
9:19: “Apparently there was a boob job and a bad relationship and the rising cost of glitter…” –Susan.
9:20: Peggy — who’s a teacher — is angry that Robin’s getting a job with kids “without credentials.”

9:20: Roy reminds me of Dick Van Dyke.
9:26: Orson’s making Bree tell him she loves him. She doesn’t. That sorta hurts?
9:30: Ana and Gaby have the same wardrobe. Or wardrobe decorator?
9:30: Ahh, Dr. Daphne’s not super awesome, hey?
9:30: “It’s awesome because she’s a great actor in real life.” –Erin
9:32: I don’t know if I totally disagree with Lynette on this one. You’re giving advice to people, but you obviously don’t …get it yourself?
9:36: “You really took a chance on me.” –Robin. Why did I just start singing ABBA?
9:36: Parents recognizing Robin from the strip club. Awesome.
9:38: “I promised her I wouldn’t have sex. I didn’t promise you wouldn’t.” –Ana. What does THAT mean? ……..
9:40: Ooh…death threats from Angie. And Austin Powers chick egging on an angry Angie?
9:47: “You sucked. You were really bad.” –Lynette, to Dr. Daphne.
9:48: “Do it, Tom. Do it. Do it.” –Erin
9:48: “Do it. Insult the doctor. Do it!” –Erin
9:48: “YEESS!!” –Erin
9:49: Gaby and Carlos are hearing something they shouldn’t be….but I want to hear it!
9:55: I’m loving Mike’s interaction with MJ.
9:56: So we’re all loving all the couples in this show now — Mike and Susan are adorable lately!
9:56: (except Bree and Orson…..)
9:59: “And so, I’m asking you: please stay.” –Bree
10:00: You cant just decide you want to love someone, Bree…

Post from: Desperate Blog

I write two snarky Jesse Metcalfe posts…and then he gets a ticket for parking in the red zone?

I’m sorry. I can only say say one thing to this, after all the fighting, partying and cockiness from Jesse: Karma.

Image: splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Desperate Blog

Well, I’m pretty sure I can’t top the headline that originally described this photo: “Jesse Metcalfe out for a stroll with his brown bag in LA.”

Well…yes. Yes he is….strolling with…..his…..brown….bag.

And that smirk! What is that?

Image: splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Desperate Blog

He was shot at the Aussie Millions poker tournament at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on Tuesday. Before he showed up for the celebrity tournament, the organization sent a release calling Jesse “one of the world’s most high profile emerging actors.”

Uhh…what? Emerging? High profile? This statement was true in 2004, and for Jesse’s sake, I wish it still WAS 2004. He was hot, an OK actor and had a great job. And then he starred in a so-so teen movie, maybe got peck implants and sunk into obscurity. (Thankfully, he also got a few more episodes reprising his role as John Rowland on “Desperate Housewives.”)

I can’t quite place it, but he just looks more and more waxen and made up these days. Everything is just soooo forced. And the goatee? Jesse, cooooome on!

With so many good men on this show, I’m not super upset he’s not on it anymore. Do you miss him?

Image: splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Desperate Blog

Marcia and her twins were seen on Santa Monica Pier on Monday evening. I always wonder how many celebrities actually mother their own children, but it’s so obvious that Marcia’s a loving, doting mother (and I don’t mean in the way that Bree is a “good” mother).

Images: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Desperate Blog

Our favorite Mexican American housewife, Eva Longoria Parker, was one of those chosen.

Joining her will be Yo-Yo Ma, Malcolm Gladwell, Dr. Oz, Meryl Streep, Stephen Colbert (!!!Yes!!!), Kristi Yamaguchi and more.

The airs on Wednesdays from 8 to 9 p.m. EST, from Feb. 10 to March 3 on PBS.

I’m there.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Desperate Blog

So I’ve noticed something: Marcia’s super active during the day; Eva at night. When do Teri, Felicity and Dana go out??

P.S. She really pulls off the skinny jeans like few other can.

Image: Pacific Coast News

Post from: Desperate Blog