Crushable

The Academy Is Foolish For Not Letting Jason Segel Perform His Muppets Song At The Oscars

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:40:04 +0000

Not only is it a crock that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences nominated only two songs for Best Song, but now Deadline reports that we won’t even get to see the songs performed at this year’s Oscars! The blame seems to have landed on the awards show’s time constraints; each year it’s a battle to keep it to a neat and hopefully entertaining three hours, and despite protests from Fox and Disney, the songs got cut.

Honestly, I don’t care either way if we see “Real in Rio” from Rio—the real crime is taking away “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets. It was written by Flight of the Conchords‘ Bret McKenzie and performed wonderfully by writer-star Jason Segel (not to mention the cameo from The Big Bang Theory‘s Jim Parsons). If we could get Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore onstage last year to sing their Tangled song, then we shouldn’t miss out on these relevant, genuinely beloved actors.

It’s no secret that Jason’s musical numbers are instant viral content, from his schadenfreude anthem “You Just Got Slapped” on How I Met Your Mother to the impromptu Les Miserables duet he and Neil Patrick Harris launched into on a talk show years ago. If the Academy wanted the Oscars fever to last beyond February 26, they should have included Jason, Jim, and those damn adorable puppets.

The Academy is trying to do damage control by saying that the show isn’t set in stone yet. “Someone ‘leaking’ this possibility to you is just another way for people to try and influence the creative direction of the show,” an insider wrote to Deadline. We only hope they’ll change their minds and book Jason before he finds something better to do.

[via]

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Gossip Girl‘s Georgina Sparks Reveal And Reversal Was A Cheap Trick

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:02:55 +0000

Well, we were right: Georgina Sparks is not the Gossip Girl, even though last week’s 100th episode “G.G.” seemed to be pointing in that direction. But as validated as I feel — I put a lot of time into that theory — I just was not thrilled by what the Gossip Girl writers did with Georgina’s character in this week’s episode.

What could have saved the “reveal” that Georgina has been posting from the resurrected GG blog would’ve been if the writers kept the situation ambiguous for a while. Let the fans debate for a while whether Georgina had it in her to be the nastiest gossip queen for the past five years, or if each of the main characters has taken on this title depending on his/her motivations. Let them scrutinize Michelle Trachtenberg‘s IMDb page and predict how many episodes she’ll actually stay on the show. But yet again, the last few minutes of the episode had Georgina expositing to her poor, whipped husband something along the lines of “Now that I’ve taken over the site in Gossip Girl’s absence, blah blah blah I’m actually powerless.”

And so, nothing has changed. Georgina is yet again an annoying gnat, able to derail plans — like telling Chuck‘s security that she was Blair to lure him to the hotel, or locking Dorota in a closet — but never wielding any real power. None of the characters take her seriously in this episode, even though there was the dramatic irony for the audience that Georgina was supposedly the woman who had utter control over them. Instead, we get Nate and Dan snarking at her to crawl into whatever hole she came out of. And the moment they threaten to call security? She makes some lame joke about her Mommy & Me group and all but skedaddles out of there.

“The world needs Gossip Girl,” Georgina intones in her last scene, but even that line has lost its power. She’s just someone’s lackey, and we really don’t care—especially because it wasn’t even her who broke the news that Blair still loved Chuck! It turns out it was Dan who leaked the video to Gossip Girl’s blog, and all Georgina did was press “publish.” What kind of Gossip Girl films the incriminating evidence and then leaves it for someone else to send her? A lame one.

RIP this plotline:

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The Daily WTF: Creepy Meat Leggings From Black Milk Clothing

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:29:03 +0000

My girlfriends swear by Black Milk Clothing for their fun, bright leggings with swirling galaxy designs. Geek girl Felicia Day recently came out as a big fan. But I can’t imagine that any of them would throw their support behind Black Milk’s latest oddball design: Incredibly realistic “muscles” running up and down the wearer’s legs. Though Black Milk is prized for its attention to detail, I’d say this is taking it too far.

Designer James Lillis seems to acknowledge the potentially polarizing effect of the leggings, writing on the site,

This is an idea that we have been thinking about for a while. A few people encouraged me to do it but I never quite got around to it. Then I got a spare afternoon one day and decoded to have a good go at making it work. It worked…. perhaps a little too well! Definitely our most ‘meaty’ design..

So far, BuzzFeed commenters have cracked jokes about Lady Gaga‘s infamous meat dress and New York City’s Bodies… The Exhibition (where I used to work!)—two less-than-attractive comparisons. Black Milk is encouraging customers to tweet self-portraits wearing the new leggings with the hashtag #muscleslegs, but so far people have just been posting the link to the product page in disbelief. I doubt these will take off the same way that the fantastic galaxy or Tetris (want) leggings have.

Also? In the “who wore it better” contest, Heidi Klum will always win with her full-body, skinless Halloween costume.

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Dear America: Let’s Agree To Get Over The Jennifer Aniston And Angelina Jolie Love Triangle Saga

Jenni Maier — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:21:23 +0000

Dear America,

Come over here. Yeah right here. Just want to have a quick chat with you about your neverending obsession with the Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt love triangle. It’s absolutely out of control. Just today quotes came out from InStyle’s March issue came out where Jennifer says, “The triangle with my ex-husband – and that there’s a feud there. It’s constant. It’s a story headline that won’t go away, but it’s a money thing.”

How is this still constant? They divorced in 2005. For any non-Physics majors reading this, that’s 7 years ago. And we all know that with America’s pop culture ADD, 7 Hollywood years is equivalent to 100 human years.

Let’s go over some other pop-culture news from 2005 that your probably forgot:

Michael Jackson is found not guilty of child molestation charges. Meaning what? He was still alive in 2005.
The movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out. That’s the fourth movie. So four movies came out after that one.
Hitch was in theaters. Yeah that movie that you’ve now seen 67 times on TBS was in actual movie theaters.
The most downloaded song of the year was Gwen Stefani’s “Hollback Girl.” Can you even remember a time when that song sounded new and didn’t annoy you?
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got engaged.

Suri Cruise’s daily jacket choices aside, are we still talking about any of these events? No. They’re no longer relevant and we no longer care. We have a pop culture attention span of six minutes. I’ve already heard people say that it was Nicki Minaj who flipped everyone off at the Super Bowl halftime show. Give it another week and the story will be that Gisele Bunchden marched onto the field during halftime and verbally flipped us the finger.

So why then are we still talking about the hypothetical affair between Brad and Angie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith? And why are we still insinuating that Angie sank her claws into Brad and dragged him away from a completely happy marriage? Maybe Brad had an affair and maybe he didn’t. I don’t know.

But here’s what I do know. Happily married people don’t have affairs and they don’t just leave their wives in a spur of the moment decision. I”m not a marriage counselor and I can tell you that. Brad and Jen divorced because there were already problems in their marriage before he met Angie.

And that’s why it’s time for us to move on. It’s time for us to let go of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s star-crossed marriage. It’s over. It’s been over. Brad Pitt has 6 children with Angie now and Jen is seriously dating Justin Theroux. They’ve said goodbye to their marriage and it’s time we do the same.

Seriously yours,

Jenni

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Beyonce Stepped Out Last Night, So What Was Blue Ivy Up To?

Amanda Chatel — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:39:37 +0000

By now you’ve already seen just how hot Beyonce’s post-baby body is looking, but with all the attention on Beyonce, no one seemed to wonder what Blue Ivy may have been up to last night. It was her first big night without mom around, so that should be hitting the headlines, too.

Beyonce killed it in an Alice Temperly dress and Louboutin heels, all while supporting husband, Jay-Z‘s concerts for the United Way of New York City and the Shawn Carter Scholarship Foundation. As Beyonce attended Carnegie Hall with her husband for the first of two benefit concerts last night, it appeared that Blue Ivy was left to her own devices. So what did Blue Ivy and her nannies probably do last night? We have some ideas.

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‘Lana Del Rey’s Hunger Games‘ Is A Hilarious Dual Parody

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:13:50 +0000

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Second City comedienne Holly Laurent looked on Google Trends and threw two popular topics together: Maligned singer Lana Del Rey and the much-anticipated Hunger Games movie. And yet, instead of being shameless linkbait, it works!

Laurent has smartly edited the footage from the two Hunger Games trailers to make it resemble the supposed earthiness of Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games” music video, but she also pops in playing the singer. And while the lyrics at first sound weepy, there’s an edge to them: Lines like “a pita is a pouch of bread, but that’s his name” and “Panem is a place that’s fake but true” show that she’s willing to mock both of the hot-topic pieces. (And maybe this is wishful thinking, but Hunger Games fans will remember that in the new trailer Katniss is wearing a yellow dress; if Laurent’s yellow dress is a homage to that, then she’s a genius.)

It ends a little abruptly, but we hope that Laurent makes a follow-up once the next trailer comes out—or even after we see the whole film on March 23. In the meantime, you can check out her work with Chicago improv troupe The Reckoning.

What’s also interesting to note is that LDR’s other song “Born to Die” has been making the rounds on YouTube, with Hunger Games fans mashing it up with the actual trailer. So, kudos.

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Non-Belieber Has Beliebers Arrested For Beliebing in Bieber

Jenni Maier — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:37:22 +0000

My scariest moment living in New York City was the time I passed by a crowd of Beliebers gathering outside Macy’s, waiting to love-attack Justin Bieber the second he stepped outside. I could feel the braced-face-excitement and hormonal energy in the air and I just knew any of them would happily murder me if I got in their way. So I understand the fear that the owner of the Hit Factory in Miami must have felt when he saw a group of Beliebers start to stake out his recording studio.

However I don’t understand why he chose to call the cops to have the girls arrested. He claims that they already cost him $10,000 in damages from their stampede during Bieber’s topless skateboard show over the weekend. Which totally might be true.

But do you really want to get on the bad side of girls who say things like this: “I touched his hand, he smells like cotton candy!”

These are not the words of rational, level-headed girls. These are the words of girls who are beyond reason. Girls, in fact, who have openly threatened Selena Gomez with death — and if memory serves me right, celebrated that threat with a Twitter hashtag.

I say memory serves me right because it’s hard to keep all their hashtags straight. Beliebers know how to harness the power of social media better than anyone else in the world and I’m honestly pretty impressed with their powers. One wrong move and not only will they threaten to kill you, but they’ll also turn your name into some kind of trendable hashtag that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

These girls are dangerous and I fear to think how this man’s life is about to change. Especially since the cops refused to actually arrest them and they now know that they have law enforcement on their side.

See all the action go down right here:

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Crush Links: Should You Have Sex With An Ex?

Emily Moorhouse — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:30:09 +0000

• Do looks always matter to guys? (College Candy)

• Should you have sex with your ex? (Betty Confidential)

• Sex myths everyone believes. (The Frisky)

• The world of miscommunication. (College Crush)

• Gwyneth Paltrow has some good love advice. (The Stir)

• How to deal with your flirty bf. (Gurl)

• Ways to avoid Valentine’s day. (YourTango)

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Dedicated The Simpsons Fans Plan To Watch All 500 Episodes To Break Guinness World Record

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:26:19 +0000

Starting tomorrow, 100 Simpsons fans are going to attempt what may not be humanly possible: To watch all 500 episodes of the series in a row, in the hopes of breaking the Guinness World Record for consecutive hours of a TV show watched. But with each episode clocking in at the standard 23 minutes, that comes out to eight days or so with no sleep. Insane!

According to the official rules, the aspiring record-breakers are allowed to take rest breaks and eat and drink. (And we assume got to the bathroom?) Twentieth Century Fox is helping to sponsor the event, so there’s the added incentive of getting swag if you make it to the finish line. Oh, and a share of the $10,500 prize.

Interestingly, the 500th episode “At Long Last Leave” airs on February 19.

I don’t know how those fans are gonna handle the sleep deprivation, because when I’m the least bit tired and you plop me in front of the TV, my eyes shut immediately. As the Washington Post points out, the current record holders — they watched almost four days’ worth of 24 in 2010 — looked like the walking dead at the end of their ordeal.

But as Homer Simpson himself once famously said: “TV: Teacher, mother, secret lover.”

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