So last week I received my absentee ballot from the good folks in Seminole county, Florida, where I am registered to vote. Seminole county is one of the most republican counties in Florida, and being a registered democrat living in Amsterdam, I was surprised to receive my ballot so quickly. I was expecting to receive it right around the time of November 5th.

So there were three choices this election, Barack “Hopey” Obama, John “MAVERICK!” McCain and Ralph “I Ruin Elections” Nader. There were actually far more choices for president on the Florida ballot, but Nader is the only one worth mentioning since the war in Iraq and the subsequent death of millions is all his fault. Well, his and the handful of Floridians who voted for him in 2000- like myself.

So while voting for Nader again was awfully tempting, because I mean come on, how close will Florida really be? I decided to go with the black hoops star from Chicago (and no I didn’t write in Michael Jordan). Here in Amsterdam, like pretty much everyplace on this planet, everyone is IN THE TANK for Obama and wishes they had a real vote in this. Fortunately I do so you’re welcome Amsterdam hethons. You’re lucky I wasn’t hanging out in say this place when I voted, who knows what would have happened!

photo credit: personal collection 

Post from: Sirened

You can add Philadelphia Flyers fans to the growing IN THE TANK list of Barack Obama supporters and/or Caribou Barbie haters. The poor hockey loving VP mom decided she’s go out to Philly on the Flyers opening night to drop the ceremonial first puck.

In yet another lousy error by the McNuggets campaign, they neglected to realize that Palin would not be well received by Philly fans. This marks the thousandth time their campaign has made a retarded blunder, yet again embarrassing itself.

Post from: Sirened

McCain’s odds now stand at 5-2. Meaning you can bet $2 to win $5 (plus your $2 back if he wins). This is a commanding lead for Obama because since the house always wins, these odds are scewed to pay out even less. Obama’s 1-4 odds basically say that he has a 75% chance of winning the election, which really means he has about an 80% chance of winning.

And let me assure you, Vegas is not “in the tank” for Obama. The only party they worship is the green party.

photo credit: flickr

Post from: Sirened

Post from: Sirened

I suspect it will go something like this:

Moderator: Governor Palin, why is it important to keep troops in Iraq?

Palin: We must fight them there so we don’t fight them here. Terrorists ya know, fight them over there. This is an area of expertise for me because I am an expert in foreign policy being the governor of Alaska which is in between terrorist Canada er Russia I mean. Putin is a terrorist because he flies over my home state and it’s our job to keep an eye out on him.

Moderator: How do you keep an eye on him?

Palin: Because it’s Alaska and it’s Russia with just some frozen ice hockey water in between. Speaking of which, you know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? LIPSTICK! And not on a pig like that black fella’ said.

Moderator: Umm, ok then. Senator Biden, explain your position on withdrawing troops from Iraq?

Biden: [Crying from laughter] I’m so sorry, they prepped me for this but I just can’t help myself. She’s so cute though isn’t she? Reminds me of Dennis Kusinich’s wife, that’s the thing I like most about that guy [wiping tears from his eyes].

But seriously, Biden should be fine as long as he doesn’t do something like this to her…

Post from: Sirened

1)Consider downsizing your home to something more affordable. Like this fixer upper, one bedroom, no bath shown in this picture (toilet and wash basin located at adjacent McDonald’s not pictured).

2)Consider re-financing your home directly with Bank of Putin. The Russian ruble has strengthened against the dollar and Bank of Putin has an excellent reputation of collecting on their loans. Default is punishable by execution.

3)Get rid of “earmarks” like public school buses. Kids are getting fat and lazy anyways. Make them walk the 2 miles.

4)Eliminate hunting licenses. There’s a lot of good deer out there that don’t get shot. Sure a few people may get killed by the experienced shooters, but hey it’s hunting, people get shot in the face sometimes. Ask Dick Cheney’s friend, he’s cool.

5)Start a failed bank and get bailed out.

6)Move to the Ivory Coast in Africa and pan for diamonds. With US dollars you can get a nice place for peanuts until you start finding yourself some shiny precious. Just make sure not to lose your diamonds via your hands being chopped off.

7)Let’s listen to John McCain and temporarily freeze government spending on all things non-war related, like that pesky police department budget. The police has an annoying little habit of getting in the way of a re-distribution of wealth.

8)A $500 tax cut for pet owners. Pets are expensive these days and if poofy gets sick you could be looking at thousands in vet bills. Don’t have a pet? Take the neighbor’s.

9)Hold a nationwide “Car for Food and Random Crap Day.” On this day consumers can show up at their local Wal-Mart and trade in their car for 500 Wal-Mart bucks to stimulate China’s economy. That way China’s banks can afford to lend us more money.

10)Invade Venezuela and take their oil. We’ve already lost our reputation in the world so screw it, let’s just go all in here. Time to stop toying with the notion of toppling their regime and just acting upon it. It’s time to end our dependence on foreign oil and make Venezuela the 51st state.

photo credit: flickr creative commons

Post from: Sirened

I guess Bush and company were hoping that Congress wouldn’t read this thing and just say, ok here is your 700 billion dollars Mr. Decider. Then when Congress actually read the proposal and had issues and questions, the administration was like you guys need to pass this like yesterday otherwise people will be eating rats off the street tomorrow.

Then after it became clear that Congress would not simply roll over for Bush, he became willing to make some concessions (like adhering to the constitution for a change). So given the magnitude of the event, Bush kinda felt compelled to come out and try to explain how everything got all screwed up.

Bush’s tone was interesting, much more mellow than some of his previous addresses on big events like RAH, Scary Terrorists, RAH, 9-11, RAH, Mass Destruction, RAH, Dick Cheney eats babies, RAH. Don’t get me wrong, he still does a good job of trying to scare us shit less, the tone was just down a notch.

Though I’m confused because John McCain said the fundamentals of the economy are strong.

Post from: Sirened

Last week the AP and Yahoo released statistics of a survey they conducted amongst over 2,000 white people. The pollsters stated positive and negative adjectives about black people and asked people to respond accordingly. 20% of all the white people polled said the word “violent” strongly applied to black people. Not good news for Barack Obama-the militant black candidate in the eyes of many white people, this despite Obama being half white of course.

Here is John McCain’s latest TV ad basically telling people that Barack Obama is a Chicago thug and that’s not change you can believe in.

Post from: Sirened

I said that the 49ers should have been 10 point favorites in that game and were a “lock”, and what happened? They thumped the Lions 31-13. In sports betting (the best financial advice currently out there), it’s important to take notice of obvious bookie mistakes. This was clearly one of them. Stay tuned to see if the bookies screw up again this week, if they do, Sirened will let you know how to nearly double your fortune…again!

photo credit: flickr

Post from: Sirened

That’s what the e-bags who regulate the securities industry do first thing in the morning. And then another little nip for brunch, and why not a wee sprinkle before lunch?

Feature the new bank holding company structure for Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs.

In 1933, while the crash of ‘29 was still being digested, the regulators devised the Glass-Steagall Act, which separated commercial banks and investment banks to reduce the likelihood of further conflicts of interest.

Over the last ten years, or maybe eight, the regulators rolled over like a two dollar whore and allowed commercial banks and I-banks to hop back in bed together.

And now, it looks like they’re essentially making it official.  Except most of the competition has been destroyed.

What’s the scariest thing about the new holding company deal, aside from the cost?  It’s the brain child of same fuc*ing idiots who sat back and watched slack-jawed as the current series of subprime induced debacles took place.

Like I keep saying, it’s the American Way.

Photo with permission of Bay Area photographer Steve Kesten.

Post from: Sirened