Anyway, here’s what my secret boyfriend had to say about his softer side:

“I can’t think of a single romantic thing that I’ve ever done… “I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone’s locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great.”

He might not be romantic, but I’ll excuse that if he gives me a little neck action. Here’s what he thinks about Edward Cullen and himself as far as simliarities:

“I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well,” says the star. “I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes.”

“I don’t listen to anyone else,” he says. “That’s why I don’t have a publicist – I can’t stand it if someone’s trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake.”

Oh, Robert – you don’t have to listen to me….just, you know, let me climb on your back and do the whole spider monkey thing. THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING.

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Here are a few of the lyrics:

“You might be expecting me to say something about Kanye and how he ran up on the stage at the VMAs,” she sang. “But there’s nothing more to say, ’cause everything’s OK. I’ve got security lining the stage.”

“You might think I’d bring up Joe Jonas, that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I’m not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe, I’m doing real well. Tonight, I’m hosting SNL but I’m not gonna brag about that in my monologue. La la la. Ha ha ha. La la la.”

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So when she starts talking about her sex life, it’s like accidentally seeing your Nana naked. Awkward, completely embarrassing, and totally uncomfortable.

According to the Daily Mail, Nic’s tried all sorts of fun stuff: kinky, strange, obssesive, etc. Here we go:

‘I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy,’ Kidman said.

‘You work on it,’ she went on of marriage. ‘It’s a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you’re very much out at sea. You’re exposed. You could drown.’

She’s talking about marriage here, right? Because marriage as most people know it is about as opposite of “adventurous” as you can possibly get. Is she for real? Maybe when you’ve got billions of dollars stuff starts getting really crazy fun. And hey, if she’s going to talk about “strange sexual fetish stuff”, let’s have some DETAILS, please. Handcuffs? Whips? Cheesy poofs? Throw me a bone, Nic.

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Yes, Mike’s at it again. His newest shenanigan: releasing private voicemail of Lindsay Lohan crying and whining about how nobody loves her, etc.

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Apparently he thinks that Lindsay looks 100 years old and is basically at death’s door; of course, stuff like that will happen when you’re anorexic and take drugs all the time.

So Lindsay called him up and left this charming voicemail. Among other things, she says:

“Mommy says that I’m worse than you were,” Lindsay sobs to her dad. “And she’s defending…She doesn’t back me and she doesn’t stand by me. Why? Why? No one cares about me. They don’t, by the way. No one cares that much. It’s never about that. It’s about how they feel, not how I feel. It’s not about me. It’s never been about me, unless I fight for it.”

Seriously? Honey, it’s ALWAYS been all about you, except now, it’s kind of backfiring, isn’t it. When all you care about is yourself, you end up being a coked-out hobag at the age of 25, and that’s just the way it is. Stop whining, go to school, help someone (other than your drug dealer), and contribute to society.

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Anyway, this post isn’t completely about Edward, but more about Bella – Kristen Stewart, to be precise. She’s doing what all celebrities do eventually – whine about fame and how hard it is to be a millionaire. She compares fame to the life of Edward:

“As a vampire, he has a sad, desolate life—fame is the same.”

Really, KStew? Really? Fame is hard? Millions of dollars and the luxury of never having to worry if you’re going to be able to pay your rent is some kind of hardship? Girl, if you werent’ so cute as Bella I would completely let Jasper suck your blood but GOOD.

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After shooting a scene in San Pedro California, the hottie and a few other folks from the cast dropped into a bar to celebrate with scotch and Cokes all around – not just for them, but for 30 people in the bar! That was $500 worth of drinks, then Kiefer tipped the bartender another $200 for his or her trouble. What a guy – and yes, he used a designated driver when he left the establishment. :>)

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Apparently, Mitch has his own show in the UK titled “Mitch Winehouse’s Showbiz Rant” in which he drives his cab around and bitches about how unfair life is. Um, could I have that gig? Seriously. Anyway, David Hasselhoff got in the cab and they started trading tips on how to deal with drugs and alcohol…you know, because they’re both just HUGE experts. Cripes. Here we go:

“The problem that I’ve experienced in my own life and you know, some of the stuff that’s been documented about Amy is really… a universal problem and it has nothing to do with the music business. It’s just life man,” David told Mitch. “It’s just, it’s an illness and what people don’t realize is nobody wakes up in the morning and says, ‘Let me have this problem.’”

Well, actually, drug addiction and alcoholism is not a “universal problem”, lots of people get by just fine without it or deal with it privately, GETTING OVER IT instead of holding press conferences and hogging the media spotlight!

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In an interview with Glamour (the issue will be out on November 10), she says that she went to bed as herself and woke up as Britney Spears – alluding to the MASSIVE media attention that centered on her at this time.

She did take something positive out of the experience, however:

“The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard.”

Unfortunately, she’s right – there are a LOT of girls out there getting smacked around by their significant others – boyfriends, husbands, etc. If you know someone who this is happening to, or it’s happening to you – get help. They’re not going to get better. Deal with it.

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The baby wasn’t actually due until December, so it came about four weeks early (hopefully everything is okay; even though Mel Gibson is kind of a douche, the baby deserves a fair chance). His wife Robyn filed for divorce in April 2009 as soon as pictures were published of the couple having a gay old time in Costa Rica; their combined worth is estimated at $900 million. I think I’m beginning to see why Mel has such luck with the ladies, don’t you?

The new girlfriend has a child with former boyfriend Timothy Dalton, so yes, she likes to get with celebrities, but can you blame her? A girl has to make a living, after all.

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First on the list: The Shining. Quite possibly the first horror movie I ever saw, and one that still gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. “All work and no play make Jack go something….something…..” ai, yi, yi. Here’s a viddy:

Second: Poltergeist. Because little kids in scary movies really seriously freak me out – and so does that little old lady…”Carol Anne, Carol Anne, come back to the light…”

Third: Jaws. This movie, more than any other event in my life, made me fear deep water, boats, and large sharks. Well, honestly, I had ALREADY feared big white sharks, but this just pretty much sealed the deal.

Fourth: A Clockwork Orange. I actually just saw this movie in the last two weeks and now I know why it’s one of those “iconic” films that you’re supposed to see. Mostly it scared the crap out of me, especially this scene.

Fifth: The Exorcist. So I don’t really want to talk about this one because it scares the shite out of me. Just watch the video. I’ll be the one hiding under the blankets over here in a corner, sucking my thumb.

Sixth: Psycho. You knew this one would be on there, right? I dare you to take a shower and not think of this scene.

Seventh: Seven. Pretty much any scene in this movie absolutely scares the crap out of me.

Eighth: Silence of the Lambs is hands down the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, mostly because Anthony Hopkins is so FRAEKING insane.

Ninth: Misery, oh yes, it’s the fracking HOBBLING scene. Owie.

And Tenth: Carrie. I was both scared and kind of rooting for Carrie this entire movie. She just has that way about her, doesn’t she? Here’s the prom scene:

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