T-shirt courtesy of promotional-t-shirts.com

The famous ‘kick me’ trick. Never gets old eh? This is something I will always laugh at. Even though it’s an old joke, and I have seen it time and time again, it’s hilarious. It’s also very mean because the poor sole probably has no idea what’s going on, but generally when a trick like this is played, you are amongst friends. So what do people do? Do they actually go up and kick people when they have a ‘kick me’ sign on their shirt? Sometimes people experiment and now try different sayings..I have seen ‘lick me’ (however that one is a little more riskay to do to a stranger on the street), ‘ kiss me’, ‘trip me’, or classic ‘I’m stupid’. So why are these immature jokes so funny? It’s not like you have to be a rocket scientist to come up with these lines.

I have to say though, the one thing that i find the funniest thing in the world is toilet paper on the shoe. I know it’s so mean, and horrible, but I can’t help burst out laughing when i see that. It’s not even a trick! No one goes into the bathroom after you and secretly sticks toilet paper to the bottom of your shoe…so it’ completely accidental, it’s just hilarious! As a matter of fact, I”m laughing to myself right now writing this picturing someone with toilet paper on their shoe. It’s just so funny because it always seems to happen when you are out at a nice place, and it’s mostly the girls it’s happened to where they are dressed to the nines, and have this massive stiletto stuck right through 3 or 4 squares of toilet paper dragging behind them and they have no clue.

There’s gotta be a good pickup line that comes along with that one…something like “Hey, wanna meet in the bathroom? You’re already ‘trailing’ behind…” hahaha…

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T-shirt courtesy of Bustedtees

I think it’s fair to say that most long distance relationships start off by two people meeting in a place other than their own, they happen to really get along and then try to see where it goes once they return back to their individual places. So then what? How can you reeeally get to know someone if you aren’t starting off living in the same place in the first place? Every time you were to see one another of course it’s going to be a great time because you haven’t seen each other for a few weeks. Then you leave, and you probably have had no fights, no arguments because you only have a certain amount of time to do all that you need to do. When then does your partner learn your bad side. When do they see your bad moods when you come home from work and just want to put your feet up on the couch and not talk to anyone. When do they see you in those spontaneous moments, or when do they see you crack under pressure.

This all comes by living in a close proximity. Don’t get me wrong, I know many people who have met living far away from one another, and continued their relationship long distance and now are very happy, I just find it a very hard concept to grasp. Of course this is very common, we live in a massive world, who says that ‘the one for you’ has to be living within 20 miles. If that’s the case well then I’m in trouble!

Do long distance relationships work? Do they work better than other relationships maybe because you don’t get tired or sick of one another? The hardest part about long distance I think is that both people have to be committed to doing long distance. If you like each other enough then obviously that is not a problem. But at what point does it get to be too much and you juts can’t handle not living close to your loved one.

I guess they do say ‘Love is what makes the world go round…”

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It was really nice for us because pretty much all of my family live in Europe all over the place, so we have always been the family that is ‘out of it’ and whenever there are big family reunions, the best we of it is facebook pictures. This is why (but not only why) we were so excited to have family join us in our neck of the woods. For once we could have family gatherings and put OUR pictures of Christmas, thanksgiving, and crazy nights out up on facebook and have the rest of the family in Europe be jealous of our fun.

Well, it is sad to say that that fun has to come to an end. Not end for good, but Canadian fun. A year and a half they have been here, settled in, have a gorgeous house, kids did well in school, went through 4 cars (that’s a different story) and now they are being told to leave. They are literally being kicked out of the Country back to England. No they did not commit a crime, or do anything horribly, they are just not allowed to stay because they couldn’t prove that their jobs couldn’t be done by a Canadian. Since it isn’t easy these days to find a job, apparently the solution was to send everyone back home to free up jobs for Canadians.

Nothing personal, in fact, through this process they have run into many different stories of families and people going through the exact same thing. One lady who has been here for 14 years has been asked to leave as well. Can you imagine? 14 years? Ludicrous.

So although our time was short, and we were just getting into the swing of things and getting used to you being around….it’s about time you guys stop pretending you are Canadian! Go on, get outta here!

T-shirt courtesy of Bustedtees

We will miss you!

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T-shirt courtesy of funny-tshirts.biz

Two times in particular stand out to me when this ‘chicken’ stunt was pulled on me. One was at a very young age when my parents thought that my sisters and I needed to eat Tongue. Yes you heard me, tongue. When I say tongue, i’m talking about a cow’s tongue which is the most revolting thing I have ever laid eyes on. So my parents felt that we needed to eat this and told us it was chicken. What are we having for dinner tonight Mom? Chicken! Okay! So i go about my own business till i came downstairs thinking dinner was almost ready, and saw this disgusting massive tongue sitting on the counter that was curved and rolled around this bone thing. I screamed and ran out of the room. That is NOT chicken. That didn’t matter though, we still had to eat it but know they couldn’t tell us it was chicken. What did they say? Don’t worry, it tastes like chicken. I sat staring down at my plate and actually saw little bumps all over it which were the taste buds. ewww, I just got the shivers even writing that remembering it. Anyways, long of the short I tasted this tongue that we were made to eat and guess what. It DIDN”T taste like chicken.

The second chicken experience was in Paris. My parents tried to pull the same story when they ordered frog legs. Trust me they said. This is a Parisian delicacy. Everyone loves it, and don’t worry, it tastes like chicken! My sisters and I were a little older than the tongue experience so a little more mature. What did we do? We took pictures of ourselves holding up these frog legs thinking it was hilarious. Everyone in the restaurant were staring at our parents as if they should control their children. We took our first bite and to our surprise….it didn’t taste like chicken.

Give it up, Only chicken tastes like chicken and leave the pour thing along. Let it be unique and not everything has to be compared to chicken!

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T-shirt courtesy of Crooked Monkey

I think it’s great that we honor Michael Jackson, I just think we do it in the wrong ways. MJ’s music will always live on and we will always have his music, but that’s all we knew him for in the first place. It’s not like he was still producing music and coming out with new hits here and there. His music was finished and he had finished his peak time for his music. His biggest hits had already past and there was nothing that was going to exceed further.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy and turn on Thriller and i’m grooving…but I just think sometimes our world is pretty poor when it comes to attention, who gets it and when. We decide based on when the media tells us. They bring out the stories, they decide what stories are bigger than others and based on the publicity, we follow along.

I hope MJ rests in piece. Despite whatever we said about him in the past about his ‘bizzareness’, he will never be forgotten and his legend will forever live on.

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T-shirt courtesy of Snorgtees

Shmores, or wait, is it smores? What ever it is they are delicious. There is nothing quite like a toasted marshmellow that has been sitting in the fire pit getting nicely burnt and sometimes even catching on fire. Slab it onto a nice piece of milk chocolate and top it off by squishing it by two gram crackers to make it into a chocolate squishy, melty sandwich. It tastes so good you have no idea. What’s even better is that you have had a couple drinks after this so the mess is unreal. Everything is sticky, your clothes are covered in chocolate and sticky marshmellow and there is probably a little bit of dirt attached to the melted marshsmellow.

This is a pretty funny t-shirt. I’d rock it that’s for sure. Is it just me or does the chocolate look like some Parisian, and the gram cracker look like a hillbilly? I don’t even think the gram cracker knows which direction he is running in.

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T-shirt courtesy of BustedTees

That dreams shortly dies after you take your throw and it lands no where near any of the cups and then boucnes off the table. Does this happen to everyone, or just me?

I thought this shirt was appropriate as we are approaching July 1st for us Canadians, and of course July 4th. Luck for you Americans July 4th lands on a Saturday this year so I’m sure your weekend will be filled of fun and not to mention a few cottages playing beer pong. I know it’s a great game, however it better not over shadow and kick out flip cup.

Now were talking. Now flip cup I can handle. You still have the same attitude as if you are the bes player there and going to do the most amazing flip and down your beer faster than anyone else, the difference here though is that I actually can. You DO want me on your team for clip cup.

As soon as it’s my turn, i down that beer, prepare my cup at the enge of the tab, and give it a slightly hard, but not too hard tap with my thumb. Up it goes, flips ones, and lands perfectly on the other end and the next player goes. What a feeling that is. YOu turn around to make sure everyone just saw that amazing turn, and that if your team wins it’s because you cut the teams time in half just by downing that beer.

Everything is a mess and everything is soaked with beer. The table, your clothes, the floor. But no one cares because your team won!

All this beer game talk is making me thirsty. Time to prepare for those cottage weekends and sociaable partying while bringing in the beginning of July. Enjoy and play safe.

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T-shirt courtesy of Snorgtees

First of all, whatever it is you’ve got going on there i don’t care how great it is, you still need pants. You are not doing any girl a favour by walking around pantless. I hate to break it to you guys, but it doesn’t paint the prettiest of pictures. You guys act as if it’s one big sculpture and everyone should ooo and aww and think it’s nice to look at. Well guys, it’s not.

You know what would make this shirt popular? If instead of it being a shirt it was a pair of  ladies pants and on the pants it read:

“With a pair of pants like this, who needs a shirt?

Now that is what is going to get people to look twice.

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T-shirt courtesy of NerdyShirts.com

So 4 guys go to Vegas for a dude’s Bachelor party. Typical plan but none the less made this movie awesome. They have a big night out right after they cheers to a “here’s to a night we will never forget”. Two seconds later, it’s morning and what happens? They don’t remember ANYTHING about the night before. The entire movie is back tracking with clues and hints they find to try to piece the night together. On top of it all, the bachelor himself has gone missing, and the 3 guys are on a mission to find him and bring him back to his bride to be.

Sounds pretty common (not the loosing your friend part) but the whole ‘not remembering your evening’. I find it strange to think a movie like this hasn’t been done before, but in any even very glad that it has been done now. This t-shirt obviously comes from one of the obstacles the guys find on the way. A baby. I don’t want to give away the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it, but this movie is done so well, that normally a missing baby is supposed to be a sad story and make all the girls in the theater go “awwww” instead, we are laughing along and just as puzzled as the guys as to where the hell that baby came from.

If you havne’t seen it, hop to it and go see it right now. Right now! Go!

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My dad loves the piano and wanted his three daughters to learn how to play. His dream was to one day see each of us play at a concert, wearing a blue velvet bow in our hair. Don’t ask. I have no idea how he came up with that one. My dad was in retail so used to come up with all these fashion trends saying that they were ‘in style’ at the moment and knew this because he was in with the fashion peeps. Ok dad, so what do you have for us today? He would come home from trips and have all new outfits for us, some matching (which i loved, I am the youngest remember and wanted always to be just like my sisters) and some not. What were some of his best items? Flannel, pleated, plaid skirts that went down to our knees. (I think flannel, pleated and plaid kind of all mean the same thing when you are talking about these skirts but it sounded better with three ways to describe).  I got the red, my sister got the green, and the other blue. We were too young to have an opinion at that point so what did we wear for Christmas that year? Our pleated kilts. Another classic? Stirrup cord pants.

But that’s besides the point, we were talking about piano. So my dad made us all take piano lessons till we got to grade 4. After that, if we wanted to quit, we could. That’s exactly what both my sisters did. They got to grade 4 and quit. Me on the other hand, didn’t actually mind the piano so though why wouldn’t I just continue? So i did and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. At any time I can just sit down and ‘tickle the ivory’ and i find it very relaxing and as well love to be able to say that i can play the piano. I am no Beethoven, but I can get by. My sisters are both very jealous of my talent, and wish that they weren’t so quick to quit and my Dad just says I told you so.

So where am i getting at? I think the t-shirt I am describing to you today represent by two most impressive, not to mention favorite, talents. Playing the piano, and drinking.

T-shirt courtesy of BustedTees

Beethoven’s fifth certainly is a powerful movement, and depending on what he is drinking there, the 5th drink could be just as powerful.

I certainly didn’t need lessons to learn how to drink, that came from my Dad, the one who also told me to play the piano. So I may not listen to him about everything, and he never got his concert with a blue velvet bow, but the things I know he is right about, he really is right!

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